smile...it can't be that bad!

hi.  my name is chelsea and i suffer from chronic resting bitchface.

Someone posted this buzzfeed on Facebook yesterday and it spoke to me.  I'm not a bitch.  I just have a bitch face.  I can't change that...sorry.  please be my friend.

This is another good description of life with bitchface.  It was also the first time I realized my condition had a name.  I'm not alone in the world, and that makes me happy...though if you looked at me, you probably wouldn't be able to tell :-/ (Careful...both of those links are full of the swears).

this is what i look like when my face is at rest.  i'm not mad, i'm not sad, i'm not thinking about anything in particular.  i'm just concentrating on the work i'm doing with no feelings one way or the other.  and yet, i'm constantly told by random passersby "smile, it can't be that bad".  

Excuse me, how do you know how bad it is?  Maybe i had a recent death in the family.  Maybe I realized I'm not going to be able to pay my mortgage this month because I'm broke as a joke.  Maybe I just found out justin timberlake is refusing to do an nsync reunion tour again.  The point is, you don't know how bad it may or may not be and declaring that it can't be that bad is awfully presumptious of you, sir (yes, sir.  i don't think i've ever had a woman demand a smile from me...).

They also give that ridiculous cliched fact "it takes more muscles to frown than to smile".  Well, actually, that hasn't been scientifically proven and could vary from person to person, so...nope.  

And of course, I'm not frowning.  It's just the way my face is.  So I'm using no muscles.  But thanks for calling me ugly.  Jerk.

My job mostly consists of staring at a computer screen all day.  I'm not required to interact with too many people, so I see no need to overexert my facial muscles in either direction.  If I'm doing my job and concentrating on my work and not my ravishing good looks, then I'm not smiling.  I'm also not frowning.  I'm just. 

I promise I'm totally nice.  But if you ever tell me to smile, I will probably throat punch you (unless I'm at work...in which case I will just imagine throat punching you because I would like to keep my job).

OK /rant.  Stay chelish (which is not bitchy...usually).